Category Archives: ALL the things

How to plan a house

Andrew and I are designing a door frame right now. It’s going to be red and black and silver, with bible verses, and lines from old hymns strewn over it. We’ll leave a couple of empty spaces for the grand opening, when the guests can write some words of their own. I’m thinking of giving it details, with flowers, and twirly bits; musical notes, you know. A great deal of thought has gone into the frame, and the door will fit just so, I think.

But it’ll be an awfully odd day if we open the door, and there’s no building behind it; or if there’s a bare, cold, horrid room behind it, with an uneven floor where the piles have slipped a bit, and panes missing from the windows. No! The grand opening of the front door is that of the whole house. Consideration should be given now for the relationships between all parts, for every room, and for the overall plan of the building. It goes (almost) without saying that a sound foundation is imperative too.

Now my door that I’m designing, with it’s pretty door frame, is my wedding. Of course :P. But the less obvious bit, the bit that many seem to neglect, is the preparation for once you step through that door. It’s strange to me that many couples put so much into a single day, and neglect to prepare for the time after. Where is the game plan for any marriage that starts with a fairy tale wedding? Where is the “after”, from the “happily ever”? Do you not have bills to pay, relatives to think of and visit, possibly children to raise? But all this merely pokes a finger at those who are short sighted. Oh no, that’s not the majority at all.

I’d say the majority are couples who’ve already lived together…who’ve done all the “after” already…So they decide, whether for aesthetic purposes or not, to maybe add a door to the place they’ve already built. They have a back door already, but adding the front door just makes it all a bit more presentable, and maybe more acceptable to the public eye. I would wonder in cases such as these, what it is that  they are trying to build.

If a two story house with a funny little rumpus room in the attic is what you’re going for, you build that from the foundation up, and you design with that end in mind as well. So what happens when you’ve built a rambling great shed, and discover that it’s not the home you were hoping for? Does adding a fancy front door make it more of a home? Can having a wedding change a wishy washy, meandering relationship into an intimate, purposeful marriage?

Anyhow, I’m sure you see the limits of this metaphor as well as I do. But from the evidence of my eyes: from relationships and marriages I’ve seen that worked and failed, I prefer to have my door purpose-built to be part of a home, and with the foundation for a solid marriage (that is, our individual relationships with Christ) dug long before I add the finishing touches, and open that door.

And at the end of the day, it’s just as well my fiancé and I are working alongside the master builder, hey?

Dear people of the internet, I intend for this to be the first of a series of letters. It’s sad that you can’t all see it handwritten, as it ought to be, but I assure you my writing style is the same :). As is my habit when I write letters, there will be a flavour of formula. I will greet you. I will chat of important or relevant topics in my life, and I will ask you questions :). I like questions. I’d like it if you answered them, too. At the last, I’ll tell you something I appreciate about you. It won’t be pat. It might not even be pretty, but it’ll be sincere. So here we go!

I’ve just had a glorious time this afternoon, meeting with people who wanted to hear more about the christian group I am part of on campus. We’ve explained the good news of Jesus to each other. We’ve taught each other. We’ve encouraged each other to follow God’s call in our lives, and to show others how amazing God is, by sharing (and I say sharing because we hold it in such high esteem) the amazing news about God’s forgiveness, love and transforming power. I also spent a bit of time with a special non-christian friend of mine, talking about how we know that the bible is reliable. Weren’t the eyewitnesses biased? Wasn’t the time between writing and the event long enough for oral tradition to have failed? Given how individuals’ memories are fallible, could we even trust the eyewitness accounts years after, even if they told the truth? I’m buzzing…and therefore completely unable to study at this point in time. Thus :).

I guess, friends, if you are interested in my answers to those questions, I could post them sometime. Are you? 🙂

It’ll be Easter soon. While the festival may be named after a pagan goddess, the time-first sunday after the Jewish Passover-is on the mark. Jesus died (not too controversial). He was buried-somewhat unusually, in a private tomb. Also not too controversial. His tomb’s hollow state on the sunday is universally agreed among scholars. So the only crazy part of the Easter story is what happened to the body, really. 😀 I mean, I know what usually happens to dead bodies, as much as the next person.

Onto psychology, I have a massive test tomorrow, so I will tell you about your own memory :D. What we just studied in class was the interesting fact that imagining past events (that didn’t actually happen) makes you far more likely to incorrectly remember them later on, as factual. The more times you imagine it, the more confident you become in this. And now: a field day amongst interrogators everywhere! If you get someone to imagine they committed a crime, then they’ll probably end up believing it! And if you get someone to relax, and imagine that childhood trauma (that you as a clinician are sure occurred), then that someone’s parents may end up getting in trouble for abuse they never did. Even mere time passing after imagining can increase your confidence that you were abused, or you committed the crime, or you saw that person do it, even if you denied it entirely at the get go. Would you like me to cite things for you? I can :).

I’m having fun writing this :). I wonder if I sneak more revision in, will it get boring? Most people get pretty bored by maths, but I have a test for that tomorrow too. …Perhaps it’s just as well I don’t know how to input it into this. Oh! I can give you a puzzle though! 😀

It was snowing in Winnipeg. The snow was steady and hard. At noon, a snow plow started out. It went two kilometers in the first hour, and one kilometer in the second hour. When did the snow plow start?

Now, my lecturer had mercy on us and told us the speed of the snowplow was proportional to the depth of the snow. He also told us the answer, so we could check…but you’re on the internet. You’re probably just going to cheat  check in the end anyway :P, if you do give it a go. This puzzle took me hours, even with me putting my head together with my dad’s, and one of my maths buddies’.

I guess if this was a normal letter, I might go on for several pages, but I am anxious for your replies. This is conversational letter writing!

Now, I appreciate how you leave me replies sometimes. I appreciate it enough that I want to encourage it ;). We’re all friends here, ne? My appreciation will get more…appreciative? …loud  as I get to see your honest replies :).

Further, I appreciate your existence. It’s beautiful :).

-Teresa.