Intended audience: control freaks, perfectionists, anxious wrecks, …and everyone else

Hello friends 🙂 It’s been a while.

I’ve done a lot of adventuring this summer. I’ve pretended to be a homeless person, a tourist, a local, someone who knows what she’s talking about, and someone who “has not the foggiest what you’re on about”. It’s been fun and awkward and tiring and awesome. But amongst the role-playing shinanigans, I’ve understood a little more of my role in the scheme of things.

1. What I can do in the world isn’t actually defined by my abilities.

That’s not to say that I’m a fatalistic person who just floats along as the wind blows or a helpless person who can’t contribute to society. I’m not even an anti-self-help guru just claiming “hakuna matata” or whatever it is!. What I’m saying is that every day, I find opportunities that I didn’t put there to do, to give, to speak…to make some kind of difference. And then when I do, give or speak, even if I think I do a terrible job, sometimes it just works anyway! The person gets the maths problem, or understands some truth in the bible that’s never clicked for them before, or they find a place welcome and safe. The defining power behind any success in my life is the Holy Spirit, by the grace of God, so I cannot boast. And God’s grace extends to using my screw-ups for good, and using my “okay”s for good as well. In fact, his grace extends to using everything for the good of those who love him. (No, not miracles! …It’s a bit late now, hey 😛 )

2. It’s okay for me to rest sometimes.

The world won’t stop turning if I chat with friends? The great commission will be completed even if I sit and read for a bit? I don’t have to do everything by myself? Preposterous! I’ve discovered that hey, God keeps working even if stop. I’ve discovered that part of living in community is helping each other out-and letting myself be helped. That one stings. It’s really obvious to you I guess…but it’s really challenging for me to see someone else do the heavy lifting and not offer to have a go…because I know that they know it’d just be my pure blind stubbornness keeping that heavy box/bit of furniture in the air.

3. It’s okay to not have it all sorted out.

It’s common now to have several careers in a lifetime. It’s normal to change your degree (maybe add/swap a major or minor) halfway through. I’m not saying it’s a waste to plan ahead, or see what kind of job you’re suited for. The beautiful thing is though, that we can go out there and find out…we can go out there and make a few mistakes! If God’s who he says he is, he’ll use whatever happens, and use it for our good, to teach us and grow us. Maybe if you don’t have a big plan for your life before you’re 21 you can figure it out as you go along. It’s okay. And maybe if your childhood dreams have all crumbled already you can give them another go. You could even build some new ones! 🙂 That friend, is also okay.

There have been a few themes coming through, right? We understand ourselves more when we see who we are as seen by the living God. It’s a scary thing. It’s something that I find myself wanting to fight sometimes, because I know I’m not the kind of person God wants me to be. But he doesn’t condemn me for my faults, because I’m forgiven. He doesn’t mock me for my failed attempts, but rewards me for trying…and uses them. The God of the bible is big enough to take a look at my life, with all its ups and downs, and smile.

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